Tuesday, April 17, 2007

**YOUTUBE**

Hello, haven't been able to post for a while.. Anyway.

I posted some videos at YouTube, check them out! n_n

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=steffiereggie

Monday, April 2, 2007

BORAT: Kazahkstan's National Anthem

Click the link: XD

http://ibarelydidhalfofthislol.ytmnd.com/

..Today..

What's going on my mind today? Hmm.. You wanna know?
Well, if anyone will read this, that is..

Well, let me explain first..

Right now, I have a crush on someone,
But that someone is already married.. Silly ain't I?

Second, my past is going through my head.
It keeps reminding me of things that
I do not want to remember..

Lastly, I feel like I am caged. In a cage.
Not bragging but, I put righteous beliefs
Always at the first priority.. But,
From time to time, I know someone
reminds me of them, however, sometimes,
I feel like I am not allowed to choose things
That I want.. I am limited..

And that makes me want to shake my head,
And ask, "Why am I not free? Free to do what I want.."

But, as the Bible did say,
"Mangmang lang ang taong nag-iisip ng kaligayahan,
Pero ang taong matalino ay naghahanda sa kamatayan."

So, I should just prepare, right?
I shouldn't think of my own hapiness..
Though I get to ask myself sometimes:
"Why? Others are free to choose who they love,
But why not me? Mine is always not a good choice."

Sunday, April 1, 2007

..Watching 2 Animes with the Same Themes..

I've watched two kinds of anime, it has the same theme.. But the characters and story is still, of course, not the same.
At the second term I watched the whole 26 episodes of "Maria-sama Ga Miteru."
There was an 8 hour school from Monday to Friday.
But I still managed to watch the whole 26 episodes for 4 days, ALL IN WEEKDAYS..
I couldn't wait any longer and wanted to know what will happen next..

LOL.. It was a classic slow paced anime but is still very good..

Then, today, I watched the whole 26 episodes of Strawberry Panic. (Well, there was nothing to do, lol) though stop from time to time to do something else.

So, what's the common theme about this two animes? They are both yuri.. lol
Though I still preffer "Maria-sama Ga Miteru" over "Strawberry Panic".

Maria-sama Ga Miteru is more focused on romance and feelings, and yuri scenes are very rare.

In Strawberry Panic, it has a lot of yuri scenes, and less focused on romance.

lol, anyway, Maria-sama is a CLASSIC! It's something I can watch all over again..
Well, Strawberry Panic? It is also nice and good, but I don't think I wanna watch and spend all my time on it again. (Kinda like FMA, nice but I don't want to repeat it again.)

Anyway, I watched both animes on YouTube, and if you're wondering what 'Yuri' is, go check Wikipedia.. n_n

..At Age Seventeen..

All my life, since I was young,
I always wanted to be 17..
I couldn't wait to be 17..
Not 18, but 17.. But now,
I have no idea why..
Will something happen to me?

Friday, March 23, 2007

**Some Corny Song I Used To Loved In Grade School**

Baby, tell me, do I look like the kind of girl,
That you wanna take home, wanna make me your own?
Do you even know what I like?
Just what I'm living for, what I adore..
Baby take the time to realize,
I'm not the kind to sacrifice the way I am
So if you wanna be my man, baby

Walk a mile in my shoes
Do me right or I'm through
Can't you see that if you wanna stay around
I'm tellin' you, you gotta figure me out, boy
Take your time or you lose, this is my game, my rules
And I can see, obviously, baby you don't know what it's like to be me

Don't you get it twisted, boy
I want you too, but you got my heart to win
Before I let you in.
If this deceives you baby, I'm not the average lady
I need someone to love
Baby take the time to realize
I'm not the kind to sacrifice the way I am,
So if you wanna be my man, baby.

Baby, get to know me, so you can show me
That your love for me is true
And I would do everything that a girl could give
Don't you wanna be my man?

Grow Up

This is who I am and this is what I like.
GC, Sum, and Blink and MXPX rockin my room.
If you're looking for me I'll be at the show,
I can never find a better place to go,
Until the day I die,
I prosmise I won't change.
So you better give up!

I don't wanna be told to grow up!
And I don't wanna change, I just wanna have fun.
I don't wanna be told to grow up,
And I don't wanna change.
So you betta give up, cause I'm not gonna change.
I don't wanna grow up.

I like to stay up late, spend hours on the phone.
Hanging out with all my friends and never beening at home.
I'm impolite and I make fun of everyone.
I'm immature but i will stay this way forever,
Until the day i die,
I promise i won't change.
So ya better give up!

I don't wanna be told to grow up!
And I don't wanna change, I just wanna have fun.
I don't wanna be told to grow up,
And I don't wanna change.
So you betta give up, cause I'm not gonna change.
I don't wanna grow up.

Grow Up

This is who I am and this is what I like.
GC, Sum, and Blink and MXPX rockin my room.
If you're looking for me I'll be at the show,
I can never find a better place to go,
Until the day I die,
I prosmise I won't change.
So you better give up!

I don't wanna be told to grow up!
And I don't wanna change, I just wanna have fun.
I don't wanna be told to grow up,
And I don't wanna change.
So you betta give up, cause I'm not gonna change.
I don't wanna grow up.

I like to stay up late, spend hours on the phone.
Hanging out with all my friends and never beening at home.
I'm impolite and I make fun of everyone.
I'm immature but i will stay this way forever,
Until the day i die,
I promise i won't change.
So ya better give up!

I don't wanna be told to grow up!
And I don't wanna change, I just wanna have fun.
I don't wanna be told to grow up,
And I don't wanna change.
So you betta give up, cause I'm not gonna change.
I don't wanna grow up.


I don't wanna be told to grow up (grow up x2)
I don't wanna be told to grow up (grow up x2)

I don't wanna be told to grow up!
And I don't wanna change, I just wanna have fun.
I don't wanna be told to grow up,
And I don't wanna change.
So you betta give up, cause I'm not gonna change.
I don't wanna grow up.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Rich girl?

If I was a rich girl na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
See, I'd have all the money in the world
If I was a wealthy girl!!

No man could test me
Impress me
My cash flow would never ever end
Cause I'd have all the money in the world
If I was a wealthy girl

Think what that money could bring
I'd buy everything
Clean out Vivienne Westwood
In my Galliano gown
No, wouldn't just have one hood
A Hollywood mansion if I could
Please book me first-class to my fancy house in London town

All the riches baby, won't mean anything
All the riches baby, won't bring what your love can bring
All the riches baby, won't mean anything
Don't need no other baby
Your lovin' is better than gold
And I know

If I was rich girl na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
See, I'd have all the money in the world
If I was a wealthy girl
No man could test me
Impress me
My cash flow would never ever end
Cause I'd have all the money in the world
If I was a wealthy girl

I'd get me four Harajuku girls too (uh huh)
Inspire me and they'd come to my rescue
I'd dress them wicked
I'd give them names (yeah)
Love, Angel, Music, Baby
Hurry up and come and save me

Monday, March 19, 2007

**A Tumble Back To My Past Again**

When it was the end of my first term in CIE ('The One' now and never to return) I fell back into my past, and remembered 'that' person all over again.. I was lonely for two weeks.. It affected my finals as well..

I remembered, due to so much loneliness, I cried in front of my dean the day before the finals.. How embarassing.. (Well, it wasn't the only problem I had.. Most would probably think the other one would be something to rebel about my parents, actually most, but I guess I felt more deeply into the other one.)

Now, I remembered it again when I played some shuffled music and I heard 'Hear Me Cry' by Utada Hikaru. It surely reminded me of 'that person' AGAIN but I'm not as drawn into loenliness.

What made me wonder was why I fell lonely again in my first term.. It's been almost like 6 years? Sigh.. Maybe because it was part of my list of true love. (Well, actually the only one, lol)

Now, when I heard the song, I got heart burns again.. Heart burns? I onlyhave heart burns whenever I think about the person I love. So does that mean..?

No, I know I've moved on but I think the fact that 'that person' became part of my life and I fell into so deeply about will, at some point, make me remember all those feelings and sadness.. It's stuck in the little corner.. I will always loved 'that person' when I remember 'that person'.. Even if one day I will love someone even more (if possible) I think I will still remember, we will all always remember the person who is or became dear to us no matter what:

"You actually thought
Deep inside I knew

Can you tell me
How can you say
Why this should suffice?
You passed me by
And your heart's as cold as ice
(You passed me by)

Did you see me cry?
(Did you ask yourself why)
Did you see me cry?
(Did you ask yourself how)
Can you hear me cry!?
(Did you ask yourself)"

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Thursday, March 15, 2007

**SOMETHING TO PONDER ABOUT**

*Grabeh Itoh!! Sakit sa dibdib*

There are many of us, me included, who complain that living is very difficult nowadays. Yet, eating three times a day is a blessing from the LORD. Eating twice is still a blessing You may not agree with me but it's still a blessing if you could eat once a day.

So many are dying without from lack of food. Also, so many are dying within for not sharing their blessing. If pictures of a dying world would grieve us so much, how much more could you feel if you're face to f ace with stark reality.

We have so many things to thank for. With those things come responsibility of reaching out.

The pics belows have been forwarded to me and I want to share it with you.









APPRECIATE YOUR LEFT OVER FOOD AT HOME WHILE YOU CAN STILL HAVE IT………





APPRECIATE THE WATER SUPPLY WE HAVE, CONSERVE IT, USE IT WISELY…





Tuesday, March 13, 2007

**A Nice Game To Try**

There are four levels in these maze game:
http://www.winterrowd.com/maze/

The sound effects are really great! Turn on your speakers..

If you finish all four levels, it'll list your names as one of the
steady handed people..

Monday, March 12, 2007

**Way Back Into Love**

Well, I don't really know what to post..

This is an OST from "Music and Lyrics" (Drew Barrymore & Hugh Grant)

I think it's pretty cool.. n_n

Click the link:

http://www.xanga.com/legonice/574293257/way-back-into-love-from-music-and-lyrics.html

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Random Videos

Lithium:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rpnzq2s-u4

My Immortal:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOTglWNPPJo

Everybody's Fool:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SBuUXdUPUE

Gravity:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-C9gjmhtxw

PART VI

I stare at the open window. It was all water and the Sun was begining to rise.
I've been asleep for a while, I wonder why the heck I was saved.

*You want me to suffer longer!? DO YOU!!???*

I stood up and took off my clothes. I walked naked in the hall.
As you can see, I've completely lost my mind. Some men stare at me,
I don't really care. It seems that I am in a boat.

I walked as every one of them just stared, doing nothing nor saying nothing.

Suddenly, a huge nudge came and a girl went infront of me to hide my body.
It was the dancer."Ok! That's all folks! Ahahaha..!"

"WAIT!!" I murmured. I pushed her gently aside. "Aren't you gentlemen payingafter seeing this? You guys are such cheapscakes!!!"

They all did their *ehem* and gave money in my hands. I shoved it to the dancer,"That's for saving me.."

She quickly pulled me into her room and slapped me, "You idiot!! I don't want your money!!"

Friday, March 9, 2007

PART V

"NOOO!!!!!!" A concerned figure from far away runs at me as I was to make my jump at the bridge. Can you blame me? I received no love and I was raped.

I closed my eyes and started to fall but a strong jerked from the blanket, wrapping me tightly, pulled me back.

Someone held me under his/her warm arm. I fell unconcious form sickness, fatigue & hunger.


~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~


BUMP!!

"OUCH!!!"

I sat up from a bed, clothed. I touch my forehead and looked at the person I bumped into.

"Hey, hey!! You're badly injured, don't moved."

I just stared at the person. It was a female dancer.

"Another male victim, huh? ", I said rudely.

"Hey! You should be saying 'Are you the one who rescued me!?' or 'Where am I!?' or 'Who are you!?' " She looked at me with a smile.

"Yeah, obviously it's you.. What do you want? I'm not a kid from a rich family, so no ransom for you and.."

PO0W!!
She hit me on the head.

"You idiot , I just S-A-V-E-D your L-I-F-E!! You should be thanking me.."

"Thanks... male entertainer.."

"You really must hate dancers, don't you!? Had a fight with one..?"

"I have no time for you.."

"Well, you wouldn't HAVE time if I didn't save you!!"

"Aha, so you want me to be your slave as a return!?"

PO0W!!
"You're rude.. you know.."


..TO BE CONTINUED..

Thursday, March 8, 2007

**NOT RELATED TO STORY AGAIN** (The Thoughts of the Broken Hearted)

I can't hold on to me..
Wonder what's wrong with me..

Swallowed up by the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights..
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming..
The godness of imaginary light..

In my field of paper flowers,
And Candy clouds of lullaby..
I lie inside myself for hours..
And watch my purple sky fly over me..
These wounds won't seem to heal..
This pain is just too real..
There's just too much that time cannot erase..
'Cause your presence still lingers here..
And it won't leave me alone..
Don't say I'm out of touch..
With this rampant chaos, you're reality!
I know where what lies beyong my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape..

Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world..
I want to go back to..
Believing in everything,
And knowing nothing at all..
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies,
(..So I don't know what's real and what's not..)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head..
SO I CAN'T TRUST MYSELF ANYMORE!!

Fallen angles at my feet,
Whispering voices at my ear..
Death before my eyes..
Lying next to me I fear,
She beckons me,
Shall I give in?
For all my end,
Shall I begin?
Forsaking all I've fallen for..
I rise to meet the end..
All the little pieces falling, shatter..
Shards of me, too sharp to put back together..
Too small to matter, bug big enough
To cut me into so many little pieces..

I'm frightened by what I see,
But somehow I know that there's much more to come..
Immobilized by my fear..
And seem to be blinded by tears..
Nothing I bleed for is more tormenting..
I'M LOSING MY MIND and you just stand there
And stare as my world divides!!
Will you give your love to me?
Beg my broken heart to beat..
Save my life.. Change my mind..
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken..
You're not real and you can't save me..
You poor sweet innocent thing!
Dry your eyes, and testify!
You know you love to break me..
Don't deny, sweet sacrifice..
I reach but I feel only air at night..
Not you, not love, just nothing..
Try to forget you
But without you
I feel nothing..
Don't leave me here,
By myself,
I CAN'T BREATHE!!
So you wonder why you hate?
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?
Are the memories I hold still valid? Or have my tears deluded them?

**NOT RELATED TO STORY**

Amy Lee

Random Ramblings by Me, Just click on the Picture, It'll Take You There..
(Not my work, just words by an artist I put up together before)

PART IV

My hatred for the male race grew bigger, deeper & heavier. That night was my first raped. As he was asleep, I escaped away. I felt dirty, worthless, everything you can imagine non-sensed.

Wrapped around in the blanket with nothing on, I ran as far away as possible. Later, i reached a snowy city. I sat on the side of the bridge and stare into nothingness. I wanted to die! I wanted to cry! But doing this, the male race would win! No! They can't.. But I'm just some dirt. I'm useless.

I stare there for ours and ours, horrified, crying and soon dying out of coldness & hunger. But the physical pain was nothing, my emotions, my pride, my soul are all begging me to kill myself. But I can't! I refuse to be seen as WEAK! NO!!!

The cold snow covered me, overwhelmed me. Soon, I was about to collapse.

..TO BE CONTINUED..

Saturday, March 3, 2007

PART III

SLAM!!!

The door in My mom's brother's house quickly closed from the harsh wind.

"My dear," He says while taking off his heavy armoury, "You know what your mom's wish for me is?"

I looked at him. I just realized he has horrible scary looking eyes, an eye of a murderer.. I got scared a bit but remembered he was my mother's brother.

"Uhh.. no, uncle. What is it?" I mumbled out of fear.
*Why am I in fear!? I have been in worse situations, more horrific vile ones.. He's.. He's my uncle.. I should know better. My mom's kind, and I will believe he is too..*

I think to myself as I saw him smilling while fixing the cover of his bed. He took the candle and opened the door again. "She.. well.. Wanted me to have a girl!!"
He smiled and stepped out, "Help me find one, will you?" He closes the door.

I was still scared. Something about him isn't right. I couln't put a finger at it.. He left a note saying I can sleep in his bed while he went away. And so I did.

But after past midnight, I sensed a familiar magic used. My eyes opened and I sat up. That was the "Silent Aura" used. Making a circle in the house that no noise will come out in the circle.

My uncle went back to the door. I looked at him put the candle in the table and asked myself why his candle didn't die down at such hectic storm. "Uncle.." I mumbled, "Why did you put a silence circle?"

He looked at me, with much frightening eyes, "Will you do anything for your mother's wish?" He gave a horrible smile.

I looked at him in fear, but I love my mother so much. "Yeahhh... uncle.. why...."

He put out the candle and jump right infront of me, "THEN MAKE HER WISH COME TRUE!!!"

I tried fighting back, he was too strong. I screamed and screamed, but no one heard me. We were in a silent aura. He raped me..

..TO BE CONTINUED..

Thursday, March 1, 2007

PART II

It was raining in the middle of the night. Zombies roamed the graveyard where my mom lays. I sit down on the muddy grass and held her grave. "I never understood you, but I love you.." I started feeling my heart-burn rushing up on me. I couldn't breathe!

"HEY YOU THERE!!" A crusader went to me, "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

"Uhh.. I.. Just wanted to see my mom.." I said quietly.

"YOUR MOM!?" He used a flashlight to reveal the name in the grave, "Regina Stones!? NO WAY!!"

"What? You know her mister?" I uttered.

"She can't be pregnant! THAT PROSTITUTE!! She was born unable to give birth! That's why Ernesto Stones, her husband, used her fo money and.."

"HOW THE HECK DID YOU KNOW!?" I shouted angrily, "ONLY HER COSTUMERS WOULD KNOW THAT!!!" I gripped on my katar hard. It was another lustful male standing with me. I hated him instantly.

He stood quiet for a moment, touching the graveyard. "Get your filthy hands off.." I mumbled.
"I'm her brother.." He said, with his eyes zooming everywhere.

"Oh really..?" I foolishly believed him, "Then you must be kind as well.."

"Yes, very kind!" He gave a huge smile, looking at my body from head to toe. "You shouldn't stay here, come with me in my cabin.."

We traveled down the stormy night as I gave a final spit in my dad's grave.

..TO BE CONTINUED..

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Introduction

In this world, time pass by so fast. No time to breathe, no time to relax. Everyday is a battlefield, especially if you’re a being called human. Given the heavy responsibility to suffer deeply, understand the complicated, fear the happiness… Ugh. Being born in this rotten big ball is a curse.

I am a dancer in Prontera, though I keep it secret... I am known as a rogue who mostly stays in the Payon cave. I had no choice... I needed money badly…. They said money is the root of all evil, so am I living in evil? I didn’t really know and I really didn’t give a damn what the others think. I was an introvert. Yes, an introvert. You may wonder how an introvert became a dancer… Well, yes… I was shy; actually, I AM shy… I don’t feel good with people looking at me at first. As they said, “There’s always that first time, right? And when you gotten used to it, it doesn’t matter anymore.”

I call myself an introvert because I don’t communicate at all with anyone… I get all shy up when someone compliments me like a goddess or I just have inferiority complex. They say I am a kid, a little girl. What the hell do they know!? Did they suffer how I had suffered in my life!? Do they know the true meaning of hell? NO. So they better shut the f*** up. If they were in my place, they would have been dead, dead of a case of suicide because no one can take this unbearable pain.

You see, if I was to describe it right now… It would never fit a million words the pain I am enduring. My father, an exorcist, was a f***ing senseless b@st@rd!! He let my mom, who so much love him, be harassed by any men for a price of money. My mom doesn’t complain at all. When I rebelled to dad, my mom slapped me to silence me. “You do not understand,” she always says.

“What don’t I understand!!??” I said, shouting, “You’re… you’re like a PROSTITUTE!!” she simply smiled at me. My brain and logic was killing me, “What is it!!?? WHAT DON’T I GET IN THIS PICTURE!!” I asked myself a lot of times.

Dad would sometimes beat the heck out of mom. I learned to despise men. All they did was have fun with my mom, not caring how horrible she felt… And my dad, the b*tch! Oh, how hate grew more and more everyday in my life for male species. I wanted to stab them all, kill them all, and make them suffer.

Soon, mom died of a disease because of so much harassment. My dad look upon me and said I was next. Fear and anger flare up on me. Mom told me that one of Gaia’s laws was to obey your parents at all cost. He makes me sick. “You are where you are today because of me,” he smirked, “So you will obey at all cost!”

I tried to obey, because I know that it’ll make mom happy. As soon as 3 guys came looking for me, I let out my katar and killed the 3 priest. My dad went furious! He was coming to kill me! He held that huge bastard sword in his hand and pressed my neck hard, crunching it. “You idiot! You’re like your mother, useless!!!” He threw me in a huge mirror in the house. Many pieces of glasses fell on the floor. I could hear him swinging that old rusted sword, but I couldn’t stand up, my arm felt heavy. As I look at it, I was right. A piece of mirror has pierced through my 10 year old body. As soon as the footsteps became louder, I grabbed a piece of mirror. It made my hand bleed as I continue holding on it tightly.

As soon as I was raised up again by my neck, I knew he was going to slash me. Quickly, my instincts instantly reacted hitting the piece of mirror in my hand through his head. I fell again at the small sharp pieces of glasses in my back and a yell out for pain.

Horrible? You ain’t seen nothing yet. That’s not even the beginning of my pain. Don’t want to read anymore? I thought so too. You’re a loser and so are the other people of this world, quickly judging a person. To you I might appear as an innocent child, but to hell, I might appear as someone not acting on any pain. I experience nothing but pain and suffering in this stinking world. And you’re just one lucky reader, aren’t you? Be careful, ‘cause I wanna kill people like you, so annoying, so happy…

..TO BE CONTINUED..